What does it mean to work on your relationship and how do you do it?

Learn the skills that we aren't taught in school...John Gottman, world expert on couples, has researched couples and their behaviour for over 30 years.  He discovered that the average couple in distress waits 6 years before seeking help. But waiting too long for relationship help leads to communication breakdown; emotional disconnection and a build up of anger and resentment.

Getting someone to help you work on your relationship is just like getting someone to help you with your taxes or a personal trainer at the gym or a physio for a sore knee…it gives you expertise and coaching so you know what to do and you get there faster. 

Why?

You can do it to Strengthen and grow a relationship that may be feeling a bit blah or Iron out the rough spots or Deal with a particular problem you haven’t been able to get past.  Needing help at some stage along the way is kind of inevitable. 

How does it work?  What can you expect when you work with me?

What I offer is very practical and skills based – you will be learning how to do things differently and practising at home and then working through the challenges that may come up in the process. You will learn to challenge the way you automatically do things and replace the automatic with conscious.

A lot of progress can be made in 5 sessions and it goes like this:

1st session We talk about what’s going on and where you would like to get to. We talk about your struggles and goals and make a plan for what we need to work on to have the greatest impact on improving where your relationship is right now. And we usually start our work in this session with how to listen to each other and get heard.

Session 2 We launch right in with the first tool or skill that will help you achieve your goals.

In between each session there will be “homework” which is essentially practicing what you have learnt…

Session 3 onward we continue to work on the change required by each of you to met your relationship goals.

There is no set structure – it is really up to you the pace you go at – some couples like to tackle 1 skill at a time, others are happy to do a few at the same time.  Together We regularly review progress and  plans for moving forward and celebrate the milestones and the “doing it differently”. 

Most Importantly Your relationship will start to feel better.

I suggest an up front commitment to 5 sessions to really feel the benefits and if you are working on essentially only a couple of hard areas that may be all you need. More complex issues will take longer but we work together on your plan and review regularly so you can track your progress and celebrate your achievements.